Baker has graduated from Basic!

After two weeks of glorious sunshine, today has been rather cold and grey, and the forecast for the rest of the week isn't looking great. Well, it's looking like typical Vancouver weather--rainy and the kind of cold that gets in your bones and settles there. Can't wait. Me and My friend Meagan were contemplating this shift in weather today as we walked to a cafe on campus for a quick bite to eat between the obligations from which we run to and fro like chickens with our heads cut off. She said to me, "So, what's the weather in the South like?" I replied, "Well, it's a bit like living in a sweaty armpit in the summer, and it never really gets all that cold in the winter." Appalled by this no-winter-time quasi-fantasy land (I've found that it really is difficult for Canadians to conceptualize the American South; much like it's difficult for Americans to really understand what it means to be Canadian), Meagan continued to ask me questions about what living in the South is really like. And so, over cornbread and veggie chilli (neither of which were remotely comparable to my mom's chilli or my nanny's cornbread), I told her, as best I could, what it's like to grow up in and live in the South. Filtered through my recent experiences of living in the American West and Canada, here's what I told her:

• The South has a sense of community unlike any place on earth. Growing up in the South means that you are always under the watchful eye of somebody--whether this "somebody" is a church member, a neighbor, or an aunt, uncle, or grandparent. This, of course, means that as a Southerner, you have an extensive net of people who are there for you at any time of the day or night.
• This sense of community extends to the Southern phrase "she would give you the shirt of her back if you needed it." This is true of most Southerners, and as I explained to Meagan, it's especially true of my family. I've seen so many instances of selfless giving in my life, that moving out West was a complete shock to my delicate Southern sensibilities (to use Scarlett O'hara-esque terminology). Take talking to people in the grocery store for example. Southerners do this. No one else does. Take waving to people while driving or acknowledging them when you pass by in the street. This does not happen here. These things may not be "giving you the shirt off my back," but they certainly go a long way in terms of brightening the world up a bit.
• The last thing I told her was about the food. About how butter, half and half, and cheese go in about everything; that is, unless it's fried. About how food brings a sense of togetherness to the family gathering after church on Sunday. About how food gives you something to laugh over and enjoy slowly. Meagan nodded slowly as she chewed her non-Southern cornbread, and I could tell that maybe the only way to really understand all of the things I had said would be to experience them, because, for all the bad things said about the South (racism, rednecks, etc), there are a whole host of things that belong to us: hospitality (in every sense of the word), food, and a community who loves and supports and makes life enjoyable, secure, and pleasant.

Talking to her about my "Alabama life," as she coined it, I realized how much of this sense of "Southerness" I carry with me: I'm stubborn; I'm fiercely loyal, and I was taught to acknowledge, love, and appreciate those around me, and of course I'm a huge fan of butter and anything fried! And, in keeping with the loving aspect of Southern life and community, I want to tell you that if I haven't told you recently that I love you, I certainly do. If you're reading this blog, you can count on that.

This blog is dedicated to Baker, who took his Southerness to Basic Training in Fort Sill, Oklahoma. I bet he understands every single thing I've just written.

Love to you all,
S

raincoats, birthdays, and the first day(s) of school

First things first: HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY FAVORITE TRIPLETS!  Molly, Ally, and Natalie were born on this day when I was sixteen years old, which means they are now ELEVEN! I think they look so grown up in this picture.  Maggie's birthday is in about a week, so in case I don't get a chance to blog then, HAPPY BIRTHDAY, MAGGIE!  I can't believe you will be ten years old!

Now, on to the dog in the rain slicker...since thursdays are the only day of the week I have off (weekends are for reading, and thursdays should be too, but I need at least one day to go to the grocery store, etc!), I took Madison to Buntzen lake.  We hiked a good bit, and there's a neat dog area where the dogs can play in the water, so Madison got her feet and underbelly wet and then proceeded to roll around in the sand.  Awesome.  Anyway, we played outside for a bit (it was sooooo nice to be outside--I feel like I've been cooped up in the apartment or my office for the past two weeks!), and then we went to buy people and dog groceries.  While in the pet store, the lady said, "oh, we just got the cutest rain slickers in, and I think we have one that would fit your dog!"   Uh...yes please!  So I bought a pink one.  It obviously doesn't cover all of her, but hopefully it will cut down on the amount of water she's bringing into the apartment after every time I walk her in the rain...which is a lot.

On to the next topic: school is great.  I mean, I don't have time to eat, and I sleep from the hours of about 1 am to 6 am, but I really really like it.  Why do I like this fresh hell, you ask?  Well.  Let me just tell you that it's everything I hoped it would be: the reading, the teachers, the collaborative students--it sounds cheesy, but there really is learning in the air here.  I've made several great friends, and people are genuinely helpful and kind in the department.  People talk about English studies in a hopeful, anticipatory way, like they've been waiting to be in this atmosphere, too.  I really can't say enough about how happy I am in school.  As my friend Meredith would say, I'm busier than a one-legged man in a rear-end kicking contest (edited for language content), but I absolutely love it.

And it gets better!  Tommy will be here next Tuesday through the weekend.  I'm really looking forward to seeing him and to having him walk Madison for me.  Single parenthood is hard work!  He's still looking for jobs up this way, so continue to keep your fingers crossed for him.  As I was sitting overlooking Buntzen lake this morning, in the kind of stillness that can be heard, I really felt a sense of peace about all of it.  I know I'm in a good, supportive place, and I know he will be soon, and I can't wait for us to be there together!

Rain, Fog, Crustaceans, and Tear-inducing Shoes

This is what I saw when I walked in tonight.

I love crustaceans!

Not sure I've ever seen T so happy as above

at Maeghan and Nic's Wedding in Seattle

I kinda wanted to wait until class started to post another blog (mostly just to have something to actually write about), but I find myself wanting to write about today. Sometimes I think that blogging feels less legitimate than writing in my journal (which I do fairly often and have since I was at Auburn), but I like idea of being able to share things like this with you, especially since most of you are my family, and since I don't get to see you as much as I want to, it makes me feel better to tell you about things, even if it is via the ofttimes impersonal media of the internet.

I dropped Tommy off at the Seattle airport at about 5:30 this morning and then drove to Vancouver. I got pulled over in Arlington (small town in Washington near the US/Canada border) for going 64 in a 60 mph zone. If that wasn't bad enough, I had to explain why my drivers license is from Alabama, my car is registered in Utah, and my passport says I'm quasi-Canadian. Needless to say, the guy was a jerk, but he let me off the "hook" (I use scare quotes because who usually cares about going FOUR MILES OVER THE SPEED LIMIT?!) after I less than adeptly tried to explain my situation to him. I also looked like puffed up roadkill after not showering, crying all the way from Seattle, AND the giant feast we ate the night before (more on that in a minute). I think he could probably sense a meltdown coming and wanted to back slowly away from my car. Can't say I blame him. Most of you have seen me have a meltdown; it ain't pretty.

The good news is that I had a wonderful time in Seattle with Tommy. We went to a friend's wedding in Arlington, and then we left a little early to eat at the Crab Pot. The Crab Pot is this wonderful place in Seattle that Tommy saw on Man Vs. Food (we watch too much TLC) where they pretty much dump a bucket full of crustaceans, red potatoes, and corn on your plate, give you a mallet and a bib, and let you go at it. It was crustacean-crackin' heaven, if I do say so myself. All in all, it was good to see a beautiful wedding ceremony (I like to go to weddings with T because they always remind me of our own and the commitment we made to each other) and then stuff our faces full of sea creatures (the shrimp still had their heads on, and their beady little eyes were staring at me, which was rather disconcerting, but I ate them anyway...suckahhhhs!).

Now I'm back in Vancouver, and Madison keeps looking at me like, "Hey, where's that guy who buys us food?" I explained to her that he'd be back soon, but she just proceeded to get on the couch and turn around and lie down--even though she knows this is against the rules.

I took her out a little while ago in our first official Vancouver weather dog walk. We walked to the huge koi pond on campus, and the fog was so thick and intense, and the rain just drizzled away, as if to mirror my feelings exactly. When I got home, my pink cons were sitting next to Tommy's big 'ol dress shoes, and they were so comfortable together that I just had to take a picture. And I know that that's what we are, too--comfortable together.