Nola Miller's Story

I have been quite the delinquent blogger...my last post was in June on Father's day! I think it's because so many things have happened that I get overwhelmed thinking about blogging about them all. Since I last blogged, my mom, sister, and Laynie came to visit; Sherrie and Dave came to visit; we backpacked in Banff and Jasper national parks; we moved homebase and Mads back to SLC, andddd I went to Europe for three weeks! It's crazy to think about doing all of that in the span of three months. I mean, who do you know that would be dumb enough to undertake all of that?! When I look back on it, though, I seem to forget about all the hard work we did to get there, and I only remember the good parts: like when we drove up to the house in SLC and how adorable it was; or when I could sit in a cafe in Paris and feel like all the weight from last year was finally gone. It's been a long, hard year for both me and Tommy, but I can honestly say that it was all worth it.

You're probably wondering how I know that, and to be honest, I hadn't thought much about I knew that it was worth it; I only knew that I felt that way. I knew I was lucky and blessed to have Tommy stand beside me (even if that only happened most of the time in the metaphorical sense) and to have stood my ground and gotten it done. But today, on a flight from Salt Lake City to Seattle, a little old woman showed me how.

A little back story: now that my year of course work is done, I am reading for my field exams. I have two fields--one is 19th century British literature (I will write for that exam the second week of December), and the other is my field, the 18th century (I'll write that exam sometime late Spring). You need to know that because I was reading a brick of a 19th century novel on the plane, North and South by Elizabeth Gaskell. I sat down next to this woman on the plane, nodded hello, and took out my book. I didn't put it down until about twenty minutes before we were to land, and as I did she said, "what are you reading?" I told her, and also told her that I was reading a lot of 19th century novels about women in domestic situations. She asked why, and I told her what I'm doing in school and why I'm between SLC and Vancouver. I expected her to say something about the challenge of doing all of that (I even imagined her tone to be incredulous and slightly condescending...as in, why in the world would you want to do that?). But she just smiled, and then she said something that really surprised me: "I'm really proud of you." Her words caught me off guard, and she elaborated by saying that it really impressed her when young women went after their dreams. As I sat there feeling really happy with her words and her wisdom (she had several other things to tell me, all very candidly, about life and marriage), she went on to tell me her story:

She had six children--one right after the other, and after the birth of her sixth child, her husband left her. He went away for a while, and when he came back, he said he would take three of the kids. In the mean time, she had moved into a one bedroom apartment with the children, and she took two jobs to feed them. In her constant worry about where food and clothes would come from, her neighbor's French husband was deported to France for his supposed Communist sympathies, and her neighbor came to her for food and money. Mrs. Nola (she told me her name and gave me her address after I helped her carry her luggage out to meet her daughter) gave half the food in her pantry and one of her two dollars to this woman. As Mrs. Nola told me this, her eyes got all watery, and pretty soon I was crying as I listened to her. She told me story after story about how she made it without child support; even after he took three of her children away from her, she still had a hard time. She struggled with losing them and explaining everything to the children with her. She worked hard and told her kids that they could be anything they wanted to be. She has a daughter with a PhD in animal science and said that all her children were successful. Www.undefiningmotherhood.com

An airline employee pushed her to the baggage claim carosel, but she quickly found me there, and I helped her get her luggage. When she got out of the wheelchair and stood up, I saw that she couldn't have been more than 4"8' or so. She was so tiny, and she was wearing a red velvet track suit to match her red nails! As I hauled her incredibly heavy luggage out to the appointed pick up place, she asked where in SLC we lived and if she could come see my dog (of course I had told her all about T and Mads). I asked for her address, and we agreed to become pen pals. As I turned to walk away, she said, 'oh, come here!' I did, and she wrapped me in her tiny arms and kissed my cheek. She told me she was proud of me again, and I ran to the bathroom to avoid doing the ugly cry in front of everyone in baggage claim.

I am so thankful for Mrs. Nola Miller who taught me that strangers can tell you their life stories. That strangers can help you understand your own purpose in life. And, most importantly, that a stranger can help you realize--when you've forgotten--that each of us have the potential to touch someone else's life in a very powerful way.

~

I'm waiting in the airport now to catch a shuttle bus back to Vancouver. I'm sad about leaving Tommy and Mads again, but I'll be back in two weeks. For now, he's settled in a cute little house in Salt Lake City, and I'm living in a basement apartment in Vancouver. I'm staying with a professor (Dr. Smith) and his wife, and if I have to be away from Tommy, it's a really good situation to be in. I think the theme of this blog always returns to how lucky I feel, but I don't think that's such a bad thing. If lucky means having a loving husband, two amazing families, and the ability to make friends with people like Mrs. Miller, then I'm not unhappy with that at all.

xo,
S

Update: if you want to see more about how I’ve followed in Mrs. Nola’s footsteps, check out my work as an editor on www.undefiningmotherhood.com

hiking, bears, and dads

yours truly on the "grouse grind"

at the half-way point

beatiful buntzen lake

mads at buntzen

To continue my last blog's theme of being out and about, here are some pictures of recent adventures at Buntzen Lake and Grouse Mountain. And here are the stories behind them...

On Friday, I decided that I'd had enough of the dreary rain and cold of Burnaby Mountain, so I loaded Mads and a peanut butter and banana sandwich up and headed out for one of my favorite places...Buntzen Lake. The first time I came to visit Vancouver, one of the professors here (who was, fortuitously, also my professor at Montevallo) took me to Buntzen Lake. At the time, I was so impressed by how green and lush everything was (I hadn't yet connected the over-abundance of rain with the profusion of green), and I immediately feel in love with the Vancouver outdoors (it has, interestingly enough, taken me much longer to love the dirty, grey city of Van). Anyway, all of that to say that Buntzen has a special place in my heart. I've taken my friends Rosie, Ali, and Meg all there when they came to visit, and I hope we can take my mom, sister, Laynie, and T's parents there--it's too beautiful not to share. As we descended the mountain, the sun started to shine, and me and Mads were feeling pretty good about the day. I decided to do the seven mile loop around the lake, and as we hiked, I noticed that there were quite a few bear signs. I ignored them and let Mads of the leash...she loves to be free and run around. Around mile five, we had stopped passing other people, and the woods were really quiet. Mads was pretty far ahead of me, and as I turned a corner, I saw something black on the trail. I initially thought it was a dog, but upon closer scrutiny, I saw that it was a small black bear. My first thought was, yeahhh, where there's a small bear, there's usually a bigger mama bear. The bear saw me and immediately started running away (black bears are usually way more scared of you than you are of them, although I was pretty scared). At that point, I wondered where Mads was, and my wondering was answered by a tear of white fur blurring across the trail and into the woods. Mads was chasing the freaking bear. Awesome. Well, I guess she's dead, I thought rather morosely and was about to start crying when she came back up to the trail panting and wagging her tail. Geez. So we struck out to hike the last two miles (rather quickly, I might add), and all was well.

Yesterday, as if I hadn't had enough wilderness for the weekend, we decided to take Dr. Smith up on his offer to show us around Grouse Mountain by taking us up an infamous trail called the Grouse Grind. We had heard a lot of people talk about how hard the Grouse Grind is, but we thought that being the seasoned outdoorspeople we are, we'd have little trouble. Ha. The Grouse Grind is a two mile trail that has no switch-backs and goes STRAIGHT UP grouse mountain. It's literally two miles of stair climbing and often scrambling to get up the mountain. I'm so short that I often couldn't reach the steps, so by the end, I was literally climbing with my hands to finish. This was the first weekend the really popular trail was open, so there were a LOT of other hikers. We were rewarded at the top with a snack and a visit to the grizzly bear habitat (they have two orphaned grizzlies on grouse mountain), and I think I've seen enough bears for a while. We rode the gondola down (if you climb up, it's only a five dollar ride down. If you ride up and down, it'll cost you $40, so technically we made money...har har). Anyway, afterwards we went down and had lunch with Dr. Smith's wife, Gail, who was smart enough to stay home while we endured the grind. All in all, another successful foray into Vancouver's popular tourist destinations, and a nice blend of tourism and Vancouver's natural beauty.

For all that business, I've had a lot of stillness and quietness as I've hiked around (it was just me, Mads, and the bear at Buntzen, and Tommy and Jon quickly out-paced me on the Grouse Grind), and I've been thinking a lot about home. One night last week we decided to strike out and take our chances on a new restaurant, and we decided on a Burgers and BBQ place on Hastings street (famous for its hole-in-the-wall ethnic restaurants...the kind where you really enjoy whatever it is you're eating and then pray it won't be followed by gastronomic explosions). We were pleased to find the "Southern-style" restaurant, and promptly sat down at a table for two by the window. We quickly noticed that two chinese people were behind the "grill," and the decor was fascinating--statuettes of african americans, blues music playing, southern licence plates on the wall (including an old Alabama one), and various other tokens of what the Chinese owners assumed to be Southern. We couldn't complain about the food, though; T ate a bacon cheeseburger, and I had wings (we were a little reluctant to try the actual "BBQ" offerings), and both were delicious. It was just enough to remind us of home.

Today, on father's day, I can't help but think that our families are probably bar-be-quing together and celebrating the dads who raised us, loved us, and cooked for us. We are pretty lucky kids to have a Sherman, a Dave, and two PawPaws who would literally give us the shirts off their backs to see us happy. Happy Father's day to all of you. We love and appreciate all the things you've done for us and all the sacrifices you've made for us. We miss your cooking, too.

We miss all of you!

--S and T

birthdays, alabama, and dried geckos (?)

So much to post! I've been to Seattle, Alabama, and back...only to go to see a Canadian aboriginal art exhibit, Chinatown in Vancouver, and then eat a Turkish donair followed by cookies from an Italian grocery/deli. Sheesh...guess I should start from the beginning.

After last semester was over, I went to Seattle with some of the girls from my cohort. We got a ridiculously expensive hotel room for a ridiculously low price and spent our time shopping, eating, and sitting in the hot tub. Hellooooooo bliss. It's strange to think that I just spent last year with all of them but it took an outing three hours away from school to really just hang out. It made me realize how monastic last year was for me.

Luckily for me, the monasticism and sterility of my life are pretty much over. T came into town right before I left for Seattle/Alabama, and he's here until we move back to SLC in August. Before I get into that, a few things about Alabama: I got to be there for ten days! I saw pretty much everyone I needed to see, and most importantly, I got to be there for one out of two of Laynie's first birthday parties (she's just like her mama--gonna celebrate until the month is over). She is so big now--so precious and loved. As she sat demolishing her very own birthday cupcake, it was hard to believe that she came into our lives just last year. What joy and love she has brought with her.

I also got to go up to Birmingham/Montevallo to see my friend Rosie graduate and to visit with the Hunke's. Dave's back has been giving him a lot of trouble, but otherwise they are doing well. I really enjoyed getting to see everyone. We spent a good amount of time with T on the webcam so he could see them. Things like that make me realize how dispersed and removed we are from our families, but it's always good to see them--whether virtually or in person. We want to be in people's lives...however far away we are.

Since I've been back, we've spent a lot of time seeing Vancouver. It feels good to not be as weighed down as I was this past year (I'm only taking one class and teaching four), so we've been taking advantage of the place and my extra time (I've been having trouble figuring out what to DO with myself) and seeing the sights around town. Last weekend we took the ferry to Victoria on Vancouver island. Yesterday we went to an art gallery, china town, and a classical chinese garden. Then we ate Turkish food and then went to an Italian market...soooo basically Vancouver is a pretty multi-cultural place. It's strange to think that so many people are crammed into such a beautiful place--makes for a lot of good food, though.

We're going to forge ahead with seeing lots of Vancouver this summer until we move homebase back to SLC. We have plans to backpack in Banff (I really want to see Lake Louise http://media-cdn.tripadvisor.com/media/photo-s/00/18/87/cf/lake-louise.jpg) and take various other camping trips. Oh, and eat lots of good food--it's a really good thing T has taught me to be an adventurous eater...although, I wouldn't dare touch some of the things we saw in Chinatown...like dried geckos (notevenkidding!).

Right now T is watching a movie and Madison is twitching her feet as she dreams on the floor beside me. I feel lucky and blessed.

Love to you all,
s

The robot and other assorted things...

It seems like everyone has a different opinion of how to handle the end of the semester. All the undergrads are partying like it's 1999, and the library is full of frazzled, older looking (I'm assuming graduate) students who look like they haven't slept since 1999. Clearly, I am part of the latter group, but because of the former group, I cannot think straight. In fact, there's a giant robot dance-off party happening right now OUTSIDE the library. Hundreds of people (namely, the undergrads) are wearing metallic costumes made of tin foil and glitter and are trying to beat the Guiness world record of people doing the Robot at the same time. Techno music is blaring. The kids are gyrating and robot-ing out of their costumes. Did I mention that this is all happening RIGHT OUTSIDE THE LIBRARY?!

These are the kind of days that make me feel really old. At first I thought it was kind of neat/slightly rejuvenating to be back on campus with a bunch of nineteen and twenty year-olds. Now I want to strangle everyone I see who's doing the robot. This leads me to my next thought, which is about getting the heck outta dodge as soon as this semester is over. I'm going home to Birmingham/Montgomery for a week. Laynie's birthday is on May 7th, so I'm happy to get back for that (I can't believe that kid will be one!). It will be nice to be out of Canada/the Pacific North West for a while. I feel like I've had all the rainy cold drizzle I can stand...my frizzy hair needs a serious break...as does my over-worked brain.

Aside from the fact that the power has just gone out in the library (perhaps the speakers from which the robot techno dance music was blaring blew a fuse?), there is quite a bit of good news to report. Tommy is making his way here in May. He will be working remote from Vancouver (this means living with me this summer!), and then our plans include moving to Blaine, Washington (this is a short jaunt from Canada--about 45 minutes to school for me) when our lease runs out in August. This means he will still be able to work for Back Country (as a contractor), but for tax reasons, we need to be in the states to make this happen. We also need to be in the states so Madison can have a yard (places with yards here will cost you your firstborn plus at least an arm or a leg). I can't believe this is finally happening; It's going to be so great to have him here...finally!

Also, my friends Ali and Meg came to visit over Easter Break. We had a great time, and the best part was introducing them to my friends here---aka Canadian Ali and Meg. I know, I know, having two sets of friends with exactly the same names is a bit much, but I've been blessed enough to accrue two sets of Alis and Megs. I'm including a picture of all of us at the top of this blog (it's a little blurry, but I feel like I need to document the almost rift in the time continuum as a result of their meeting). I took Utah Ali and Meg shopping, eating, and hiking. It was a grand old time!

Ok, the power is back on, and I guess all the robot dancers are done dancing, because I don't hear them anymore. Perhaps I should go back to the always fascinating land of the annotated bibliography. ONLY TWO MORE WEEKS OF THIS SEMESTER, AND THEN I'M FREEE!

Love to you all,
S

**edit** Tommy found a picture online of the Robot Dance-off. The Library is to the right of the students. http://www.flickr.com/photos/sfupamr/4503434595/sizes/l/

cherry blossoms and T in Vancouver...

So the cherry blossoms are blooming here, and things are feeling rather spring-like, I must say. I crave the beginning of spring since living in Salt Lake (that first winter was sooo long--it lasted until May!), so now whenever I see those first blooms, and the weather becomes just a tad warmer, and the days are just a little bit longer, my heart feels glad, and I know it's almost SANDAL weather! Strange thing to look forward to, I know...but man I love wearing sandals and skirts and tanktops. In fact, my summer wardrobe is my favorite. All those bright colors...all those flowy skirts! Anyway, I digress--the real reason for a blog is that I have pictures to share, and a story to tell (although, it's really just a version of the same old story)....

I guess it begins with this semester. I have two classes that aren't really in my field, and they pose problems for me because I am so ready to be working on my own project; you know, that thing they admitted me into PhD school to do... I feel like I have a mixture of Spring Fever/Senioritis--that strange blend of apathy with a pinch of I'd rather be having a brownie. Lucky for me, a little thing called the Olympics came into town.

This two week vacation (oh, my!) turned out to be what I dubbed a "brain break." It was really just an excuse for me to do nothing and hang out with Tommy and our friends in Salt Lake City. I had such a good time with everyone, but when I got back, the proverbial poop definitely hit the fan. Sigh. The good news is that Tommy surprised me by coming back with me. He will leave here on Thursday, but I've had him to myself for the past three weeks now. Today, after three days of cramming in all the work I was supposed to do on my Olympic break, we headed to Vancouver for some sight-seeing. Like a true tourist, Tommy carried his camera around his neck and took some neat pictures before his battery died. We visited the Vancouver Art Gallery (we especially enjoyed the Da Vinci exhibit and the British Columbia exhibit), Little India (where we had a rather interesting lunch buffet), and then we went to Granville island via the new streetcar named the Olympic Line. We actually spent most of the day on public transit (I swear we rode the SkyTrain at least 12 times, and I used almost all my hand sanitizer trying not to catch the raging swiner), but it was so nice just to be out and about (or, oot and aboot, if you prefer to speak Canadianese).

My favorite pictures are from the SkyTrain station (I think it was Burrard Station) where the Cherry Blossoms were blooming. As we walked up into the daylight from the SkyTrain platform, all you could see were the blossoms. I knew that outside of them lay the concrete jungle of Vancouver and all the little failures of this week, but for some reason, all I could focus on was the smell and the sheer canopy of them. As I watched Tommy get out his camera, I remembered how important it is to focus on something other than my work and my troubles...sometimes you just need someone to help you see the sights and the ability to actually open your eyes and see them...

To Cherry Blossoms!
xo,
s

update!

Top to Bottom: Hunkes in TN, New Clark Family Babies and Cousins, Nim and Laynie, Creel Cousins. Below: Sarah in Seattle

I hate that it's been about a million forevers (ok, two months, whatever) since I've posted, especially since so many things (things requiring photo documentation!) have occurred. These things are inclusive of, but of course not limited to:

• The torture of all tortures--finals week (I survived!)
• The great trek to Alabama by way of first driving to Salt Lake City
• Christmas in Alabama--Laynie rode around in a wagon!
  
• Christmas in Tennessee--four new babies!
  
• Flying out of Nashville after the terrorist scare on Christmas day AND THEN driving back to Vancouver from SLC...

Shew, I'm tired after just bulleting those things out. It was all worth it, though. We got to spend a lot of time with our families, and what's more important than that? Nothing. I felt especially grateful this year to spend time with all my cousins (see above picture), especially my cousin Dale. It seems that no matter how much things change, I always see him as the skinny little pest of my childhood (in a good way). Being at Nanny and PawPaw's house with everyone reminded me of those days, and it was fun to also have husbands and boyfriends and soon to be financees all around us. The big yellow house in the country was so full--full of games, and food (what would Christmas be without the little burgers?!), and kids running around everywhere. It was insane...it was wonderful.

From there we went to Birmingham to celebrate with the Hunkes. We even got to see Tommy's aunt and uncle, Juanita and Jim, for a bit, and that was really nice. Then Dave, Sherrie, Kenny, Tommy, and myself headed to Tennessee for the annual Clark Christmas extravaganza. With four new babies in the family this year, it was quite the event! Projectile spit up, bottles, and tired parents abounded, but there were enough babies to hold and kiss on, and the food was amazing (as per the Clark usual), so all was well.

From there Tommy and I travelled back to Salt Lake City. It felt weird to be leaving him after a solid month of being together. He flew into Vancouver during what I refer to as the seventh circle of hell, better known as finals week, and was such a welcome sight. He cooked; he walked the dog; he cleaned; he did the laundry. He was so wonderful to me. Then he didn't take his flight back to SLC--he waited in order to drive with me and Mads through the winter weather to SLC. And then...he let me drive his car back to Vancouver, and he took my Corrolla (which looks like it has a giant fur coat covering in the backseat--not to mention that it's been broken into, backed into things, etc etc). Basically, he wins the good husband award of the year. Our plans as of right now are to see one another during the Olympic break (I'm getting the heck out of dodge), and then for him to move here at some point over the summer. We'd like for him to have something full-time here, but we think we can work if he can get contract work. It's worth whatever it takes.

And so I'm back in Vancouver. I'm glad to be back, and I know this is because I have an amazing set of family and friends who love me. It's easy to lose sight of who I am and where I come from when I'm here in a city full of people who don't know me and don't care to. It's easy to become one in millions, to hide behind reading and a degree and being alone. But I remembered what I had come close to forgetting--that I am here because everything lined up for me to be here. Because you all have been a part of my life and encouraged me and loved me.

And so I go back to the usual with a grateful heart.
xo,
s

bad things come in threes, right?!

Before I get into my life as of late, the above pictures are: (bottom to top) Tommy and his family and PawPaw after his sweet Nonnie's memorial service in Arizona, Maggie Bayer with BRACES, Queen Madison on the couch, Friends in SLC, and the view from my window...fog fog EVERYWHERE...oh and freezing pelting rain, too!

So, we've all heard the old adage that bad things come in threes. Well, I'm three for three, and it had better stop soon, or else I'll...I'll...stomp my feet and cry...yes, that's what I'll do! So there! Last Tuesday my wallet was stolen out of my office, along with my i-pod. Yesterday, I had a student situation from the bad place, a situation that won't be resolved for a while. And if you know me, you know how I need everyone to like me and be happy, etc etc. So the fact that the student situation isn't resolved like, right now, is driving me cuh-razy. And todayyyyyy I went to one of the only places I'll allow myself to go other than my office or the library--Sushi Town. I go to Sushi town once a week, and the waitresses know where I sit and what I'll eat (i.e. nothing with eyeballs or tentacles hanging out of it), so they'll even offer suggestions. I walk in; I have some hot tea, and basically just chill out for an hour or so. Also, I always bring Madison with me and just leave her in the car. I crack the windows--she's fine. At any rate, it's usually better than leaving her in the apartment to bark while I'm gone (I'm completely terrified of my neighbors who already shoot lasers at me with their eyes when I see them in the hallway). Anyway, I digress, so back to the Sushi town story: I finished eating my tasty raw fish combination from heaven, and I run in the rain to my car. My key won't fit in the lock. I also notice that Madison the Fearless Shetland Pony Dog is going nuts. Like slamming her body against the windshield whilst barking nuts. Odd. I'm still trying to get my key to unlock the door (in the freezing rain, mind you), when I bend down to have a look at the lock. It's mangled. Weird, I think. I run over to the passenger side door, unlock it, and then crawl over. On the drive home it hits me--someone has tried to break into my car with a crow bar. I get back to the apartment, and my theory holds true: the lock is completely torn up. It looks like someone tried to use the wrong screwdriver to unscrew something. This explains Madison going nuts, and as I tell Tommy this, I mention that I wondered what the criminal would have done if he had gotten into the car. Tommy says, "well, probably he would have hit Mads with the crowbar." I lost it. Stolen wallets, crazy students, and an almost bloody and mangled dog? That's a bit much for one girl to handle!

In other (more positive) news, I got to go to Salt Lake this past weekend! It was g-reat to see the Tomster and all our SLC friends. We BBQed, hung out, and I took a NAP! Who knew such glorious things existed anymore?! It was just what I needed to come back. I probably would be rocking back and forth and hugging myself tonight if I hadn't gotten the chance to go to SLC this weekend. So fun!

Things aren't quite as terrible as I'm making them seem. I still love school (the part where I'm in school, anyway), and I certainly love the people here. I have a couple of really good friends, and my advisor has been really supportive. I also get to see the fam in about a WEEK! I'm going to Tennessee for a conference, and I'll see them on my way in and out of Birmingham. I can't wait to see LAYNIE! She had better be ready to spend some quality time with her Aunt Sarah (and by quality time I mean she had better be ready to fit in my backpack as I kidnap her and take her with me).

All in all, sometimes bad stuff just happens--whether you live in Canada by yourself with your gigantor dog or not. At least I have Mads; she's probably the reason the mean car thief didn't finish the job. Actually, had he broken in, with my luck, she probably would have bitten his face off, and then I would have been sued...that's just how awesome my life usually is.

Anyway, I miss each and every one of you! And even though I've been stolen from, yelled at about a paper grade, and had my car almost stolen, I STILL want to get a PhD! That's good, right? That means I'm resilient...or stubborn as a mule...my guess is the latter, but I'll let you decide.

Love from the land of freezing rain,
S

Baker has graduated from Basic!

After two weeks of glorious sunshine, today has been rather cold and grey, and the forecast for the rest of the week isn't looking great. Well, it's looking like typical Vancouver weather--rainy and the kind of cold that gets in your bones and settles there. Can't wait. Me and My friend Meagan were contemplating this shift in weather today as we walked to a cafe on campus for a quick bite to eat between the obligations from which we run to and fro like chickens with our heads cut off. She said to me, "So, what's the weather in the South like?" I replied, "Well, it's a bit like living in a sweaty armpit in the summer, and it never really gets all that cold in the winter." Appalled by this no-winter-time quasi-fantasy land (I've found that it really is difficult for Canadians to conceptualize the American South; much like it's difficult for Americans to really understand what it means to be Canadian), Meagan continued to ask me questions about what living in the South is really like. And so, over cornbread and veggie chilli (neither of which were remotely comparable to my mom's chilli or my nanny's cornbread), I told her, as best I could, what it's like to grow up in and live in the South. Filtered through my recent experiences of living in the American West and Canada, here's what I told her:

• The South has a sense of community unlike any place on earth. Growing up in the South means that you are always under the watchful eye of somebody--whether this "somebody" is a church member, a neighbor, or an aunt, uncle, or grandparent. This, of course, means that as a Southerner, you have an extensive net of people who are there for you at any time of the day or night.
• This sense of community extends to the Southern phrase "she would give you the shirt of her back if you needed it." This is true of most Southerners, and as I explained to Meagan, it's especially true of my family. I've seen so many instances of selfless giving in my life, that moving out West was a complete shock to my delicate Southern sensibilities (to use Scarlett O'hara-esque terminology). Take talking to people in the grocery store for example. Southerners do this. No one else does. Take waving to people while driving or acknowledging them when you pass by in the street. This does not happen here. These things may not be "giving you the shirt off my back," but they certainly go a long way in terms of brightening the world up a bit.
• The last thing I told her was about the food. About how butter, half and half, and cheese go in about everything; that is, unless it's fried. About how food brings a sense of togetherness to the family gathering after church on Sunday. About how food gives you something to laugh over and enjoy slowly. Meagan nodded slowly as she chewed her non-Southern cornbread, and I could tell that maybe the only way to really understand all of the things I had said would be to experience them, because, for all the bad things said about the South (racism, rednecks, etc), there are a whole host of things that belong to us: hospitality (in every sense of the word), food, and a community who loves and supports and makes life enjoyable, secure, and pleasant.

Talking to her about my "Alabama life," as she coined it, I realized how much of this sense of "Southerness" I carry with me: I'm stubborn; I'm fiercely loyal, and I was taught to acknowledge, love, and appreciate those around me, and of course I'm a huge fan of butter and anything fried! And, in keeping with the loving aspect of Southern life and community, I want to tell you that if I haven't told you recently that I love you, I certainly do. If you're reading this blog, you can count on that.

This blog is dedicated to Baker, who took his Southerness to Basic Training in Fort Sill, Oklahoma. I bet he understands every single thing I've just written.

Love to you all,
S

raincoats, birthdays, and the first day(s) of school

First things first: HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY FAVORITE TRIPLETS!  Molly, Ally, and Natalie were born on this day when I was sixteen years old, which means they are now ELEVEN! I think they look so grown up in this picture.  Maggie's birthday is in about a week, so in case I don't get a chance to blog then, HAPPY BIRTHDAY, MAGGIE!  I can't believe you will be ten years old!

Now, on to the dog in the rain slicker...since thursdays are the only day of the week I have off (weekends are for reading, and thursdays should be too, but I need at least one day to go to the grocery store, etc!), I took Madison to Buntzen lake.  We hiked a good bit, and there's a neat dog area where the dogs can play in the water, so Madison got her feet and underbelly wet and then proceeded to roll around in the sand.  Awesome.  Anyway, we played outside for a bit (it was sooooo nice to be outside--I feel like I've been cooped up in the apartment or my office for the past two weeks!), and then we went to buy people and dog groceries.  While in the pet store, the lady said, "oh, we just got the cutest rain slickers in, and I think we have one that would fit your dog!"   Uh...yes please!  So I bought a pink one.  It obviously doesn't cover all of her, but hopefully it will cut down on the amount of water she's bringing into the apartment after every time I walk her in the rain...which is a lot.

On to the next topic: school is great.  I mean, I don't have time to eat, and I sleep from the hours of about 1 am to 6 am, but I really really like it.  Why do I like this fresh hell, you ask?  Well.  Let me just tell you that it's everything I hoped it would be: the reading, the teachers, the collaborative students--it sounds cheesy, but there really is learning in the air here.  I've made several great friends, and people are genuinely helpful and kind in the department.  People talk about English studies in a hopeful, anticipatory way, like they've been waiting to be in this atmosphere, too.  I really can't say enough about how happy I am in school.  As my friend Meredith would say, I'm busier than a one-legged man in a rear-end kicking contest (edited for language content), but I absolutely love it.

And it gets better!  Tommy will be here next Tuesday through the weekend.  I'm really looking forward to seeing him and to having him walk Madison for me.  Single parenthood is hard work!  He's still looking for jobs up this way, so continue to keep your fingers crossed for him.  As I was sitting overlooking Buntzen lake this morning, in the kind of stillness that can be heard, I really felt a sense of peace about all of it.  I know I'm in a good, supportive place, and I know he will be soon, and I can't wait for us to be there together!

Rain, Fog, Crustaceans, and Tear-inducing Shoes

This is what I saw when I walked in tonight.

I love crustaceans!

Not sure I've ever seen T so happy as above

at Maeghan and Nic's Wedding in Seattle

I kinda wanted to wait until class started to post another blog (mostly just to have something to actually write about), but I find myself wanting to write about today. Sometimes I think that blogging feels less legitimate than writing in my journal (which I do fairly often and have since I was at Auburn), but I like idea of being able to share things like this with you, especially since most of you are my family, and since I don't get to see you as much as I want to, it makes me feel better to tell you about things, even if it is via the ofttimes impersonal media of the internet.

I dropped Tommy off at the Seattle airport at about 5:30 this morning and then drove to Vancouver. I got pulled over in Arlington (small town in Washington near the US/Canada border) for going 64 in a 60 mph zone. If that wasn't bad enough, I had to explain why my drivers license is from Alabama, my car is registered in Utah, and my passport says I'm quasi-Canadian. Needless to say, the guy was a jerk, but he let me off the "hook" (I use scare quotes because who usually cares about going FOUR MILES OVER THE SPEED LIMIT?!) after I less than adeptly tried to explain my situation to him. I also looked like puffed up roadkill after not showering, crying all the way from Seattle, AND the giant feast we ate the night before (more on that in a minute). I think he could probably sense a meltdown coming and wanted to back slowly away from my car. Can't say I blame him. Most of you have seen me have a meltdown; it ain't pretty.

The good news is that I had a wonderful time in Seattle with Tommy. We went to a friend's wedding in Arlington, and then we left a little early to eat at the Crab Pot. The Crab Pot is this wonderful place in Seattle that Tommy saw on Man Vs. Food (we watch too much TLC) where they pretty much dump a bucket full of crustaceans, red potatoes, and corn on your plate, give you a mallet and a bib, and let you go at it. It was crustacean-crackin' heaven, if I do say so myself. All in all, it was good to see a beautiful wedding ceremony (I like to go to weddings with T because they always remind me of our own and the commitment we made to each other) and then stuff our faces full of sea creatures (the shrimp still had their heads on, and their beady little eyes were staring at me, which was rather disconcerting, but I ate them anyway...suckahhhhs!).

Now I'm back in Vancouver, and Madison keeps looking at me like, "Hey, where's that guy who buys us food?" I explained to her that he'd be back soon, but she just proceeded to get on the couch and turn around and lie down--even though she knows this is against the rules.

I took her out a little while ago in our first official Vancouver weather dog walk. We walked to the huge koi pond on campus, and the fog was so thick and intense, and the rain just drizzled away, as if to mirror my feelings exactly. When I got home, my pink cons were sitting next to Tommy's big 'ol dress shoes, and they were so comfortable together that I just had to take a picture. And I know that that's what we are, too--comfortable together.

A Long Time Comin'...

Tommy and the mountains (view from Burnaby Mountain Park)

Me and Madison in my office

Alright everyone, quit yer whinin'; I'm bloggin' now! We haven't had internet at the apartment yet, but a couple of days ago I found that if I perch on just the right spot on the balcony, I can access Simon Fraser's system, which is good because I have a password and user name.  So, here I am, sitting in the exact right spot, blogging away...

I guess I should begin with the move.  We had a rather fun time packing, actually.  Meg and Scott (our downstairs neighbors in Emigration Canyon), Ali, Liana, and Josh (along with Meg's parents, who were in town visiting) helped us pack the van, and then we all (yes, myself included) ate the holy grail of BBQ: Scott's famous smoked Briskett.  I couldn't resist.  I mean, I've been eating meat off and on all summer, but I always have good intentions of not eating furry creatures again. I've been pretty good about it since we've been in Vancouver, but I digress, so I shall go back to the moving story.  So packing and loading weren't bad, but saying goodbye to our friends was.  Scott and Meg have been the best downstairs neighbors and friends we could have asked for--an unexpected surprise while living in the Canyon.  Ali, Liana, and Josh were staples in our lives in SLC, and we can't wait until everyone comes to visit (just not all at the same time).

We drove and drove and drove--on through Idaho (the most boring state in existence besides Wyoming) and into Washington (one of the prettiest states in existence).  Tommy sent me a text from the moving van while we were in Washington, and suffice it to say that he's in love with the Cascades (the mountain range that includes Mt. Ranier).  Ahhh, mountains, you surely are Tommy's best friend.  Around Seattle we started encountering some traffic, and Mads started doing the I-really-have-to-pee-or-poop-and-I'm-about-to-do-it-in-the-car dance (just imagine Madison dancing around in the backseat of the Corolla while I navigate Seattle traffic following Tommy, who's driving the U-haul.  Uncool.).  Turns out that Seattle does road work at night, and it took us TWO HOURS TO GO TWO MILES.  It was ridiculous.  We had been in the car for over 16 hours at this point, and finally Madison just collapsed in the backseat; I guess she just resigned herself to never using the lawn again.

Needless to say, we finally arrived at our friend Maeghan's house around midnight.  We awoke the next morning, after about five hours of sleep, and headed to the border.  I was incredibly nervous.  What if they didn't let me in?  What if they didn't let Mads in?  What if Tommy didn't get in?  I was trying to decide who it would be harder to live without, Mads or Tommy, when the border guard told us to pull over and go inside.  Fabulous.  I instantly imagined all of us being detained separately and questioned mercilessly (I imagined Madison nonchalantly laying on the ground and refusing to answer any questions in true Madsion fashion).  Turns out I just needed to pay (yet another) fee for my study permit.  We were then released.  Not too many questions.  No cavity searches.  Thanking the Canadian border patrol people, we then headed toward the apartment.

Luckily, T had the brilliant idea to hire people from Craig's List to help us unpack.  Me and Madison told everyone where to put things, and she barked at all our new neighbors.  It was/is probably safe to say that everyone hates us.  The next few days were spent unpacking, which proved a daunting task after all the boxes filled up ALL 574 sq ft of this place.  T's first mission was to fill up our storage locker, which ameliorated a little bit of our space problem (the storage locker is literally bulging right now).  We then set about unpacking, while also running lots and lots of errands.  Bank accounts were set up; my office was visited; I got a Social Insurance number, etc. etc.  Then (dun dun dun), T's phone died a sudden and rather untimely death.  This was the proverbial straw on the back of the moving to Canada camel.  We both immediately felt the pressures (both emotionally and financially) of moving up here, and it sucked.  I was a bit afraid that Tommy was going to bail and give me the proverbial finger, but thankfully he loves me enough to go through moving to another country (don't say that it's just Canada).

It's been two weeks now, and things have definitely settled down.  We've really enjoyed having my friend Rosie (friend from my Montevallo days) here.  Tommy has been working, and Rosie and I have been exploring.  It's been good to have someone to learn the ins and outs of public transportation with.  I start school on September 8th, so that's another challenge that begins soon.  I still can't believe that we made it here.  Sitting on the balcony, with Tommy beside me learning random facts about random things from a random book he's reading, I feel like everything's gonna be ok.  And it will be.  

Love from Canada,

Sarah

NINE DAYS!

We move in nine days.  That's two days more than a week.  That's 216 hours.  The good news about this is that we've already been packing.  Shocking given my inclination to procrastination, I know.  Tommy has been great about taking the initiative to do things, and our internet hasn't been working properly, so these two things have combined to turn us into super packers.  We also sold our bedroom furniture, and we're working on selling the TV and entertainment center, and you should have SEEN the massive pile of crap we donated to the thrift store!  We are all about trying to squish us, our stuff, and our giant dog into 574 sq ft.  Wish us luck.

Most things are a go for Operation Move to Canada.  As aforementioned, packing is progressing, and as far as I can tell, I have all my student visa stuff in order, and now we just need to make sure that I have Madison's vet stuff done and that Tommy gets across with me.  I also need to apply for health insurance before we leave ($120 Canadian for three months!).  Other than that, we just need to get our junk in a U-haul and haul it across the border.

Tommy's plan, as of right now, is to be in Vancouver with me from August 17th (arrival date) until September 6th (this is the day after our friend Maeghan's wedding in Seattle).  If he can find a job in that time (in either Vancouver or Seattle), he will fly back to SLC for his car and then come back for the job.  This would be the best option, but Backcountry is also a great job, and we are lucky and blessed that he has it to fall back on.  

I continue to wish that I could go home one more time before school starts, but this just isn't an option financially (moving to Canuckistan ain't cheap!).  Papa Jones's funeral was last Thursday, and if I could have gone home, it would have been for that.  Shelby read me letters from Baker over the phone a couple of days ago, and he seems to be doing well.  Laynie also rolled over.  I made Shelby promise to tape this for me and post it to her blog (wethreerowes@blogspot).  

I guess that's about it for now.  We have a new address:

612-9009 Cornerstone Mews

Burnaby, British Columbia

V5A 0C1

CANADA

(and we also have a parking spot--#139, and a storage locker--#107.  You don't need to know that, but I thought it was cool.)

Happenings as of Late

Most of you already know (or at least assume) that finding housing in another country when you have a seventy-three pound horse/dog has not been easy for us.  It seems like hardly anyone is willing to rent to people with a dog (understandable), and the other problem is that no one wants to rent to people they haven’t met (also understandable).  I mean, we could be crazy American crack addicts with a horse dog who barks ALL the time (and half of that would be true--and not the crack part).  My point here is that renting to two Americans in their twenties with a Gigantor dog doesn’t seem to appeal to too many Canadians.  Never mind the fact that Tommy is amazing at his good job or that I’m going into PhD school.  People hear the words “Americans,” “twenties,” and “dog,” and they run for the hills.

Fortunately for us, there is a neuroscientist who is studying at Duke (and who got her Master’s at SFU) who is willing to rent to us.  The apartment (yes, apartment) is in a community called UniverCity (cheesy, yes), which is situated atop Burnaby Mt.  The only other thing on top of Burnaby Mt. just happens to be Simon Fraser University.  This means that the high rise (http://www.libertyhomes.ca/thehub/) is about four minutes away from SFU.  And that’s walking!  The bad news is that it’s one bedroom.  In a highrise.  With Madison the shetland pony.  The good news, aside from it being super close to the school, is that the high rise is a Green Community, which means that everything--from the grocery store, to the bank, to the eye dr, to restaurants--is set up to be walkable.  The skybus, which is Vancouver’s transportation masterpiece, is also literally outside the building, which makes Vancouver very accessible from the mountain.

Of course, this plan in subject to both parties signing the papers (we told her we’d make a decision by the early weekend) and is probably also contingent on her not asking how big Mads is.  I really REALLY hope it works out.  Please pray that it works out and that Madison miraculously loses her ability to bark.  I mean, I hate to take that away from her, but you gotta do what you gotta do....

In other news, my younger brother, Baker, left for basic training on Tuesday.  I can’t even explain how proud of him we are.  Tommy and I talked to him on Monday night after his going away party, which, from what everyone says, was amazing, and he seemed very happy with his decision.  I am so happy for him.  He seems content and excited, and I know the army will give him a lot of needed direction in his life.  He’s such an awesome kid.

Today I bought Laynie and Shelby a prize to send in the mail.  I also got to talk to Nanny, who continually amazes me with her sweetness and her love for her dad, Papa Jones, who is getting nearer to being with Granny Jones every day.  So all of this is happening:  Baker is making major life decisions/changes, Dad’s birthday was Tuesday (Happy Birthday, Pop!), Laynie is growing like a weed, Papa Jones isn’t doing well, and Tommy’s cousins are pretty much all having babies at the same time...all while we are thirty hours away.  But, even on the days where I feel like I am missing everything, I still feel really good about SFU.  I know that these choices are presented to me and Tommy for a reason, and above all, I know that no matter where I go, we will have the love and support of both sets of parents, all our grandparents, siblings, niece, and extended family.  When you really think about it, we’re really lucky kids.

Love from SLC (soon to be Vancouver!),

Sarah

Fourth of July

The original plan for the fourth of July was to hike the Cirque the towers, which is part of the Wind River Range.  We were planning on taking Madison the Brave, but as the time came closer, and the rain started in on SLC, I decided that backpacking and then sleeping with a wet dog in my tent who's prone to barking at every little thing wasn't in our (read: Madison's) best interest.  So, me and Mads stayed here, and Tommy and Josh (our friend who lives in Evanston, WY) decided to brave the Cirque regardless of the weather forecast.

I spent Friday wishing I had gone with them.  The rain had cleared up, and Madison was staring at me like she hated my guts for making her miss prancing around the Winds to the tune of "Born Free."  On Saturday (happy fourth!) I decided I would make another attempt, with my friend Ali, on the Living Room.  What's the Living Room, you say?  Well.  It's an elusive trail summit that I have been looking for for quite a while.  There are numerous trails behind the University of Utah (really close to our house), but no matter which one we took, me and Mads just couldn't find the Living Room.  But!  On Saturday, me, Madison, and Ali took a different trailhead on the advice of a friend who had found it already.  Armed with lots of water and sheer determination, we marched ourselves straight on up...and found it!    It turns out that the LR is aptly named; people took large slabs of rock and literally made chairs, a three seater couch, and a coffee table.  We couldn't quite figure out what the thing is I'm standing on in the first picture, but it made for a good shot, I think.

Meanwhile, I got home that afternoon, and the phone rang.  Tommy and Josh were back in Evanston as a result of a killer horde of mosquitos that were actively terrorizing the the Cirque.  Tommy said he was going to camp in the Uintas instead; Josh was giving up and going to a Fourth of July BBQ.  I went to see the fireworks in Sugarhouse park, and when I got home, T's car was in the driveway.  Josh had borrowed his lighter and forgotten to give it back.  Unable to cook anything, T wasn't interested in hanging out in his tent and munching on trailmix, so he came home.  I was glad.  It's always more fun to spend a holiday with your honey.

So, some of you know that we've had a special friend living in our ceiling recently.  About a month ago, the ceiling tenant became pretty loud, so we called our landlord to let him know about the rodent problem.  Unbeknownst to us, he came and set out poison in the attic and shut the vents.  Wellll....this angered the ceiling tenant.  We didn't know Travis (landlord man) had shut the vents, so we thought the animal was mating or just really mad about something (perhaps forgot where she stashed some food?).  Turns out she was dying because she ate the poison and couldn't get out of the attic, which of course means she died up there.  Sad, but true.  So last Thursday I came home from class, and as I was opening the door, I noticed a few drops of blood on the brick next to the door.  Eww, I thought.  My eyes travelled up from the blood, and I saw a little foot peeking out from the porch ceiling.  Officially grossed out, I ran inside and screamed for Tommy and e-mailed Travis post haste.  

We just knew that Travis would get the rodent (Tommy thought it was a squirrel; I knew it had to be larger than that--so my guess was raccoon) out of the attic before we got back into town on Sunday afternoon (keep in mind that it's been about 90 degrees here, and the animal has been dead for four days), but NOOOOOO the raccoon was still in the ceiling when we got back from Evanston on Sunday night.  I immediately e-mailed Travis and promised him our first born or half lottery winnings--whichever comes first--if he would get out here and extract Mrs. Racoon.  He came last night and found the above image.  A 15-20 pound (Tommy's guess, and please note that the raccoon is probably a little bloated) MAMA RACCOON.

Let's all hope the babies escape through the hole in the ceiling.  

First Blog!

So, I've decided that it might be fun to blog, especially since we're moving to British Columbia, and I'm already worried about keeping up with everyone and everything (especially that cute, little niece of mine).  And, it seems like every forum for public interaction has its own purpose (i.e. facebook for networking and harmless chatter; livejournal for revealing your deepest secrets in cryptic format; ignoring myspace now that facebook is more fun, and please don't get me started on twitter.  I don't have one, and I can't imagine wanting people to know what you're doing every 2.5 seconds).  That being said, I think the purpose of this blog will be to keep up with family and friends who don't facebook, myspace, livejournal, or God forbid, twitter.  Of course, if you're my fb, ms, or lj friend, it's totally fine to follow me here.  I won't discriminate.

We are moving August 16th.  We have yet to determine where we'll be or how much of the time Tommy will be in BC.  As of right now, we're going to Vancouver to find a place to live toward the end of July.  The plan is also to leave a car so we'll be free to drive a U-haul and the other car.  Can't say I'm looking forward to another long move, but I am looking forward to being in school again.  Just the thought of new books and supplies gives me little happiness shivers.  I am such a nerd.  

For now I am teaching two classes at Salt Lake Community College and hoping to have as much fun as possible with my Salt Lake friends.  Hiking, kayaking, hanging out with Mads, book club-ing, and playing Mario Kart with Scott and Meg are all in order.  Yay for Summer!